Caring for someone with Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) often feels like navigating a storm. But amid the chaos, there were moments when laughter surprised us.
One day, John insisted our cat, Leo, was a secret spy. He whispered, “He’s reporting to the squirrels outside.” We both burst into giggles. For a moment, the disease didn’t win—we did.
Why Humor Matters in Caregiving
Laughter doesn’t cure LBD, but it can lighten the weight. John’s hallucinations and confusion were terrifying, but sometimes they led to absurd moments. Like the time he tried to “fix” the TV with a banana. These glimpses of silliness reminded us we were still us, a couple who loved jokes, even when life felt broken.
Humor became a tool to deflect fear. When John forgot my name, he’d call me “Captain Coffee” because I always had a mug in hand. It hurt, but laughing helped us both pretend it was just a game.
Funny Moments We Never Expected
LBD’s symptoms often created unintentional comedy. Here are a few stories that still make me smile:
The Great Cereal Debate
John once argued that cereal should be eaten with ketchup. He said, “It’s the future of breakfast!” I played along, and we “tested” it with empty bowls. His grin was worth the mess.
The Talking Lamp
John became convinced our lamp was giving him life advice. He’d nod solemnly and say, “The lamp thinks I should nap more.” I started leaving him notes “from the lamp” to encourage rest.
Dance Parties in the Kitchen
When John’s legs stiffened, we’d play his favorite 70s rock songs. He’d shuffle in place, and I’d twirl around him. It wasn’t graceful, but it was ours.
Laughter’s Darker Side
Not every joke landed. Sometimes John’s confusion turned funny moments sour. Once, he laughed uncontrollably during a doctor’s appointment, misunderstanding a serious conversation. I cried afterward, guilt and grief crashing over me.
Humor in caregiving is messy. It’s not about forcing smiles; it’s grabbing joy where you can, even if it’s fragile.
How to Find Light in Hard Days
- Lean into the absurd: When John saw “aliens” in the curtains, we named them and joked about their bad fashion sense.
- Share the silly stories: Telling friends about the “cereal incident” made others feel less alone.
- Let them lead: If John laughed, I laughed. His joy was our compass.
Laughter in My Books
In Lewy Who?, I wrote about the day John wore a colander as a hat and declared himself “King of Spaghetti.” Readers told me those stories gave them permission to laugh again, even through tears. Lewy Who? II: Into the Fog includes tales from caregivers who found humor in hospital gown mishaps and misplaced dentures.
Final Thoughts
LBD steals so much, but it couldn’t take our laughter. Those moments didn’t fix anything, but they glued us together when everything else felt shattered.
If you’re caring for someone with dementia, let yourself giggle at the weirdness. It’s not disrespectful—it’s survival. And sometimes, survival is the bravest thing you can do.
